the finish line

With only about 3 weeks left in Mali (less than three at our home in Bougouni) my attitude and perspective has changed alot.  Now longer am I tired of our routine here or just want to go home.  Instead I have really been appreciating every last experience we get.  Right now I cannot see how this lifestyle has affected me, but when I picture myself at home, I picture myself feeling totally out of place and wanting to do things at home "Malian style" as I have learned here.  More than anything I miss my family and friends, but thats it.  Yes I do miss familiar things and understanding the language from every person around me (almost) but I don't miss it so much that I don't ever want to come back to another country.  Through the difficulties here, I've become doubtful of where God has placed me.  Satan has a way of using such situations to bring us down.  But everytime I got through them, my heart was lifted again (by prayers across the ocean) and I was certain this is where God wants me.  He wants me in Africa ministering to children.  I don't know how yet.  More than anything, I don't think I want to necessarily work in an orphange like I thought I did, but instead I want to buy a house and take children in who are abandoned and no one wants them.  I want to be their example of Christ, maybe the only one they'll ever know.  I want to empower them to be all they can be through Christ, that they are not worthless but they are worth everything in the Lord's eyes.  I've been looking through AIM for what I can do after I graduate in one year.  I know God has something for me to serve Him.

I've been thinking alot about my future and what I'm going to do, when my mom sent me a message that she had thought of me when she was doing her devotions.  She gave me a verse in Hebrews that tells us to keep our eyes on Jesus only, not the path we are following or how we are going to get there but learn who Jesus is and stay intimately close to Him.  I've heard this so many times, but at some moments some words just really hit you hard.  Spiritually speaking, it has been rough here and I haven't given my time to God like I need to.  I can feel Him calling me back to Him, which is where I'm going to start over again, now.  Thank Jesus for new chances all the time.