12 June 2009

swazi update 1

Friends and Family,

Wow has it been crazy here. My team and I are staying out in a small town of Nsoko...we're actually out in the boonies haha! It does not seem like i am in africa...it seems like a dream, or a play I am "acting" in...but the children are oh so real! You have no idea how much a child needs attention and love until you are with those who dont get any. I look into their eyes and just feel Jesus saying to me over and over "Take care of them for me"....but how can i do that when i'm only here for two months...get very attached and then just leave? It's not fair.

We visit carepoints around the area twice a week and we either do a bible lesson or games or songs or just play with them...most of them love us...the younger ones aren't always sure about us white people though b/c some of them have never seen white people. I can't imagine what that would be like haha!

We just did our first home visits yesterday...we walked around from house to house and invited ourselves over to get to know the people of this area (very spread out). It's culturally acceptable to invite yourself over to people's homes here...very opposite of the states. I love it here. God is so powerful and just so good. We are now seeing the pain and the hurt in the mother's eyes....many of the kids dont even have go-go's to take care of them...i wonder where they go at night time. Most of them just hang out on our doorstep all them time just waiting for someone to come out and hold their hand, play with them, hug them, chase them, you name it...they are oh so precious.

My big desire of this trip was for it to change me eternally and dramatically...i dont want to fall back into everything else again when i get home...especially the comforts which will be next to impossible. I have asked God over and over to break my heart. But reality has not hit me yet, and i dont think it will till i get home. To think that these children we are actually holding have no parents or anyone to take care of them...or just sit and wait to be fed once a day doesn't even hit me in my mind. Its like i can't soak this reality in....but I know God is doing powerful things. It does seem hopeless though...it seems like there is nothing we can do besides pray and play with them and build relationships. We're here for about 6 more weeks, then we leave....whats next for them? Whose gonna be there when we leave?

As i think about being at home from such a different place then the states...i pour my heart out..and the tears begin to flow. I cannot imagine going home at this point...I just cant!

Please pray for the nation before it is non-existent. By 2050, the nation will be gone if we dont step in. People are dying faster then they are being born. It is unfathomable. I dont understand it at all. Pray for their souls...

Hope to update in the next week or two! Have a great week all!

Amanda