31 July 2009

journal entry- God speaks

Why am "I" blessed? Why was "I" chosen to be born in America where most children have both of their parents, and where we have an abundance and never-ending supply of necessities, clothes, shoes, healthcare, education, food and clean-safe water? There's a reason and a purpose for that...because God has a reason for everything and He has a plan for you and for me and the place I have been raised (US) can be used for BIGGER and BETTER things---sharing our resources and being Christ to all other nations. But what does it mean to really be "blessed"? That we have more stuff? I don't think so.

I was sitting at breakfast during our de-brief week in Swaziland and happened to fade out of what was going around me and basically day-dreamed. We all do it. Then were the thoughts...at which first I thought were just my own, but I discovered that I cant come up with such a thought on my own and it has God's truth written all over it. So I immediately wrote it down so that I wouldn't forget...

God said, "What if those who are called "blessed" (by the world's standards) are not, and those who are not called "blessed," (by the world's standards) really are...?"

It's such a simple statement but requires so much thinking.

See, we have so much stuff and use it for granted thinking the whole world lives the way we do. What if the most blessed people are actually those living in mud huts whom know and have given their lives to follow Jesus? What if the "blessed" people in the world are the ones who rely on God solely for providing because they have nothing left, or those who rely on His healing hand for comfort because they are dying and have no pain medication? Don't you think those people are the "blessed" people of the world? They know what it really means to have to trust in the Lord for their next meal.

I don't think we could ever understand something like that based on the way we are surrounded by wealth and have grown up with it. It's a whole new level, a whole new world.

Mt 5:3-10:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

James 5:1-6
"Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you."


21 July 2009

last update in swazi

Friends and Family,

I believe this is the 5th update, but definitely the last while i'm in country...Wow, so many things have happened that i cant even remember them all nor tell you everything.

We ended our last week in Nsoko this past Saturday...On Friday we killed a cow-right up close and personal and I actually volunteered to help cut the throat, but after I actually saw all this going on, i definitely changed my mind. Soon after though they began skinning the cow which I helped with. THEN I got my camera out (with clean hands of course) and took sweet pictures! I know you just have all always wanted to see the inside of a cow. All I have to say is that I will never look at a cow the same way again. All I see is the cow lying there with its tongue hanging out and its insides being pulled out to be cooked by the go-go's (grandmothers). Anyways, it was for a good cause. We invited all the kids and gogos from our carepoints (8 carepoints) and everyone else that we met or saw that week we invited to come on Saturday to eat with us. There were so many people. A couple hundred children (orphans) and lots of go-gos.

All I can say is that it was probably the most meaningful day. I was even more excited because the little girl that I have fallen in love with wasn't at the carepoint on our last day of going, but she was there on Saturday. She doesn't talk...but she sure does smile. She's probably about 2. I do have pictures...but I will never forget her smile. It's changed me. I've always wanted to adopt. I know that having your own children is a blessing and miracle in itself....but the more I look around and see these children, I realize that why keep on having our own kids when there are so many kids around the world who are already born who NEED PARENTS or even "a" parent. I've even been having dreams about adopting...its kinda crazy. Now obviously, I wont adopt anytime soon..but it is in my heart and continues to grow there. I keep asking God to give me His heart and His desires. He is doing that. I want that little girl...(tears). Even if I dont get married, I would still be willing to be a parent. They need us. Except, foreign adoptions aren't allowed in Swaziland as of this moment. I know it has happened before through God's miraculous power...but as of now its not legal. How sad.

So anyways we fed tons of people on Saturday and had our own little party with our friends/translators and the pastor and his family that evening.

How thankful I am to have water again, when we dont have running water. How thankful I am to even have warm water for a couple minutes, when we've only had hot water. My body is lacking so many nutrients that by eating 5 pieces of pizza last night in less than 10 minutes just killed me!! I need vitamins and everything else! Oh how much I yearn for healthy food. I yearn for space, but I would give all this up easily to follow Christ somewhere else. As I continue to go on mission trips-short term- I picture myself there for long-term and ask myself If I could live there...here in Swaziland..could I love here? My answer is yes..without a doubt. "What if You dont like Africa?" many have asked me....ha FALSE. I'm so in love with these people, with this continent. They have grabbed my heart. I expected to be broken and wrecked..and even though I haven't been here....I may feel it at home when i'm gone from it.

Well we have debrief this week. Sunday we are going to Kruger Safaris- one of the biggest in the world..and then Monday night we fly out. I'll be home on Wednesday! See you all soon.

Can't wait to share my next opportunity with you- Mali 2010.

Amanda Larsen