direction...?

I miss you all so much. I can't help but wonder many times daily what you are up to. Are you safe? Are you getting fed? Are you loved...? A part of me says we need to be there ( I need to be there) to make everything okay, but yet I'm just me. I can't do much in my own power. I have to really let God take this from me- its okay to miss them, its okay to pray for them; but let God love them and take care of them for me. Just as He spoke to me while I was there many times saying "Take care of them for me"...well, in which way? By being in the America---that's not exactly how I pictured taking care of them. But maybe you have other plans for me in a different way I haven't discovered yet.

I'm still searching for direction. God has laid Africa right on the deepest spot of my heart. It'd be foolish to think that He didn't want me there because He has shown me again and again. Two months in the middle of God's will isn't ENOUGH! It's just not...there's gotta be more time.

So I'm discovering that I can help Africans right in my own city. You'd think Omaha is a "white" American city, but its not. There's more diversity than you think. You just have to get involved and that's what I'm doing. My practicum for this semester is going to be observing/experiencing/tagging along with how Lutheran Family Services works with refugees who have just flown into Omaha to get them settled into how to live in an American society. What a challenge, yet it kinda feels like I'm headed towards a "home" direction (you may not understand that, but I do).

I have alot to figure out. I have plenty of time, but its gonna be gone in a flash. When I get back from Mali in August 2010, do I move into an apartment with my friend and hope I stick around in Omaha for more than just that school year? Will I go on and get a 2-year health degree to have some more education under my belt? Do I look immediately for a mission agency to be sent from overseas, or do I find a mission-training school type program? There are so many possiblities yet I know God is going to show me with time, what direction He desires for me. Even though God has His plans and His will, He also says sometimes "you choose"...and sometimes it doesn't matter which direction or door you open as long as you live your life to serve Him---thats all He wants from us (of course love too hehe).

So there's Africa Inland Mission. Definitely sounds like a good direction. There's Medical Assitant education/training for I think 2 years. Then I would have a good solid education and could find a good job and have some decent pay until I knew when I would be going overseas. That makes total sense, yet is healthcare really what I want to focus on? I'm not really so sure anymore. I thought I was, but often times it is and it isn't at the same time. Then there's a mission training school my friend will be going through in like a year which sounds really good too. Hmmm...why so many options! If it sounds like i'm worried, scratch that off. I'm not. I'm looking for direction and you have to start by viewing all your options. It's just a start...I think God will open my eyes up to some new things and new desires while I'm in Mali. Maybe I'll have some good solid direction when I get back!

Ahhh, the joys of waiting upon the Lord. He is so worth it because He is the Lord of the Universe and the Creator of all things. Thank you for teaching me patience...even though I still struggle. Your grace is enough!