the Wait

Being at home for three weeks without a job or anything "productive" or "meaningful" to do, is a huge change. I'm so used to being busy with my job and schoolwork and being surrounded by my best friends. It is lonely. I feel almost worthless at times. I should be spending these times intensely and intimately with Christ to prepare for the trip ahead and draw closer to Him, but yet I don't. One of my teammates reminded me that we need to relax once in a while. Yes that is true, but it got to me. I hate being in silence and always want something to do. A day of rest is fine for me, but after that I would like to be back in the routine with something that I need to do that needs to be done. It motivates me and keeps me on track. But, I need to learn to just relax and spend this time fully with the Lord.

If I had movies on Africa and AIDS and orphans, I would spend my days watching them, thinking, and praying...

I watch alot of sermons on youtube that keep me going and growing in different areas of my life. Alot of conviction, which is the work of the Holy Spirit. At times like this I feel like my life is on hold and I'm waiting around for something, which I am, but I shouldn't be carelessly lounging around. I should be doing something for God's Kingdom, right?

**Check these videos out if you want to hear some great insight from some Godly men.
http://braveheartedgospel.com/Thots/Archive.html
OR search "David Wilkerson" or "Paul Washer" on youtube.com.

I know that by the time the day comes when I leave for Africa, I'm going to want to wish I had more time to prepare and pray for the next two months. I'm gonna wish I did that. So I am committing myself to doing it, now, tomorrow, and the rest of the 18 days I have to myself.