fighting

I've discovered that depression can be a complete physical thing or maybe its more of a spiritual thing. Well, I've come up with both for me. It's physical because of the chemical imbalance of seratonin and norepeniphrine. But it's spiritual because it's very much a "mind" game. Satan likes to use this to keep people distracted from what God wants them to do to be of service to others. I don't believe God gives it to us, but He allows it to happen so that we draw closer to Him, we are strengthened, and who knows maybe someday I will be used because of what I've gone through. It's a day-to-day sort of thing. It's not i have a "bad week", its more like i had a bad day and then a good day. I've discovered the one thing Satan is doing in my life is trying to keep me down telling myself I am no good and could never do mission work. He is keeping me down so that I will not go, anything to keep me from serving the Lord with all my heart. At first, it's easy to buy into, but after going through it once already I decided I am going to fight it. I know exactly how it affects me. I'm not sure why it came on now. Whether it's seasonal, it runs in my family, and I think alot of it has to do with still dealing with re-entry and not being where my heart is. I can't believe how much it has affected me. I'm getting through it and still trusting in where the Lord is leading me. He knows what He's doing...I really have no idea, and I'd rather trust Him than myself since I don't know everything.