...'thoughts'...

When I started thinking about more opportunities to serve on a mission trip for next summer, I began looking into South Africa. You may ask 'Why?' I really don't know. The people, the culture, the land gives me a passion that is only from the One. I wanted to work there through another missions organization, but they didn't have a group going out there, and therefore decided I didn't want to fly by myself overseas with little experience flying. This was at the beginning of my new semester @ Grace and I didn't have too many strong friendships yet. I began talking to my cousin's friend who had served in Jeffery's Bay, South Africa for a month through Adventures in Missions. I searched the site for upcoming mission trips next summer: Kenya and Swaziland were available. I honestly had never even heard of Swaziland and began talking about it with Michenzie, Emily's friend. "I want the whole experience", I told her. "I want the cold showers, sleeping on the floors, eating rice for every meal of the day..." I hear about others sleeping in tents for a good 9 months out of the year living like this: testing their faith, relying on the Lord, being dependent on everything God has given them, etc. I want that. It's been my sole desire for quite some time. When will it be my turn to serve the most High in Africa, where people are desperate for hope and something with purpose; where people are drenched in their habitual sin and making the devil smile with laughter. They need us. They need God. They need God through us. My one goal in life is to touch people's lives; I want God to touch their lives through me; I want God to further His Kingdom and save lives, as He desires to, through me, His servant.

I don't know if I'm ready for Swaziland. It still feels like a dream. A small planning of a trip clear ahead in the distance that really isn't going to happen. I'm going to AFRICA! What is amazing is that I haven't found real confirmation/assurance from God Himself that He wants to send me there...until now. I have been raising support for probably not quite 2 months and I am almost half way to my goal. JESUS YOU'RE INCREDIBLE! How does He do it? Why does He bless us so unexpectedly and patiently. I am just so shocked, and more amazed each and every day. I felt God pick me up and hold me in His arms today during the service. It was communion; the piano was played; I was in conversation with my Father; I felt His arms holding me up telling me how much He loves me.

You might ask what am I most afraid about? The suffering. The dying AIDS-victims. Seeing them hold onto their life with no medical help (hardly), and little, if any, people to love and care for them. How am I going to make it through such an experience/sight? This was my original dream, as a nurse of course. Now, I can't imagine I will be amidst this.

...::...More thoughts to come...::...