Just One.

Some people talk about hunger, but they don't come and say, "Mother, here are five rupees. Buy food for these people." But they can give a most beautiful lecture on hunger.

I had the most extraordinary experience once in Bombay. There was a big conference about hunger. I was supposed to go to that meeting and I lost the way. Suddenly I came to that place, and right in front of the door to where hundreds of people were talking about food and hunger, I found a dying man.

I took him out and I took him home.

He died there.

He died of hunger.

And the people inside were talking about how in fifteen years we will have so much food, so much this, so much that, and that man died.

See the difference?

I never look at the masses as my responsibility. I look at the individual. I can love only one person at a time. I can feed only one person at a time.

Just One. One. One.

You get closer to Christ by coming closer to each other. As Jesus said, " Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do to me."

So you begin.... and I begin.

I picked up one person.

Maybe if I hadn't picked up that one person I wouldn't have picked up 42,000. The whole work is only a drop in the ocean. But if I didn't put the drop in, the ocean would be one drop less.

Same thing for you.

Same thing for your family.

Same thing in the church where you go.

Just begin.... One. One. One.

At the end of life, we will not be judge by
how many diplomas we have received
how much money we have made
how many great things we have done;

We will be judged by this:

"I was hungry and you gave me to eat. I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless and you took me in."

Hungry not for bread - but hungry for love. Naked not only for clothing - but naked of human dignity and respect. Homeless not only for want of a room of bricks - but homeless because of rejection.

This is Christ in distressing disguise.





Mother Teresa

a wedding and a child dedication

Yesterday was Fatoumata's wedding.  She has grown up living with Uncle Joseph and Tante Marte (as a niece) but has become basically their child because of a bad situation with her parents.  I can't imagine how many feelings she was having Friday night and Saturday morning. She must have been excited and nervous and happy to get married but i'm sure sad to leave her family and place she has known for a very long time.  The thing with Malian weddings is that when they get married they don't hardly know each other.  He is from a village quite a ways away, so she has probably only talked to him in person a couple times.  What we do in the States is ask a person to go out with us or date when we are interested in them.  Here it's not dating it is asking them to marry and become a fiance.  It is different.  They cannot be alone together because it is a big temptation for both of them, as they say. I can understand that, but I could not imagine marrying a man I barely knew.  The wedding was beautiful.  The choir was singing for a while ahead of time.  Then here comes a big long line of choir members, pastors, men beating drums, women singing, and Fatoumata in her wedding dress with the veil covering her face and Jeremy next to her. During the wedding, they sat up front next to each other with a best man/woman on both sides.  They didn't hardly look around much but sit still look at the people sitting down and once in a while maybe smile. I could tell Fatoumata was really nervous though.  So the 3 1/2 hour service was filled with preaching and singing and then finally Uncle Joseph married them with the rings, prayer, and a first kiss that I know she was taken aback by! 

Le Vieux, my baby, ha, was dedicated in church today which was very exciting.  I pray for him and that he would grow up to be a man of God and that by his parents growing closer together in love for each other, he would have a great example to follow.

another trip

This weekend was great! Not only was I feeling better after being sick for a while, but I could definitely feel the prayers coming my way as my mom had mentioned.  By Thursday night I was very joyful and so happy I was still in Mali.  Bad circumstances seem to make everything look bad.  I'm so glad I don't make important decisions when I'm feeling so bad. Thank you to all of you.  I am feeling much better and have most of my energy and appetite back, now I just need to continually eat more to gain weight back.  We visited a couple of villages about 4-5 hours away and it was very good to go somewhere else and meet new people.  We stayed with Pastor Marka and his family the first night.  He graduated from IBR just last year, so our intern, Sharon, knew him very well.  The second night we stayed in Bamako at the EEBM guest house (as we have before).  We went out to eat that night and then found ourselves studying for our oral final exam with our professor for the next morning.  Once that was finished on Saturday, we went to the Artisan in Bamako which is where all the African jewelry, boxes, canvases, paintings, etc. is made.  I'm terrible at bargaining because first of all you can hardly look around without them bothering you, and then you have to literally leave the place for them to stop talking to you, even after that we had a drunk man following us and continually saying "What do you want? I am sorry. I will give you the best prices...you are my friend...blah blah."  At the end of the trip, me and Christian had to ride in the hot trunk in the back of the truck to get home because it only holds so many people in the front.  It was quite amusing and we had alot of people smiling and waving at us.  This is something a Malian would do, not an American, typically.

how satan discourages believers

So the past two weeks haven't exactly been a joyous ride.  First I started out with a sore throat.  It became worse and I knew I needed to go to the clinic because I could hardly swallow anything and my throat was full of red splotches and white dots.  I still dont know if it was strep exactly.  I went on antibiotics for a couple days and it was gone almost immediately.  In another couple of days, it came back.  I was a bit frustrated at this point because this was highly unexpected or needed.  I went to the clinic again and they decided that they should give me antibiotics through an IV instead.  I thought they were exaggerating for a sore throat but I let them do what they do.  I did about three different dosages in two days for my throat.  It took a little bit longer to go away this time and I was a bit worried, and a bit critical and judgmental towards the doctors here (or the Malian culture in general).  

Fast forward to another half week later, I woke up and felt like i was hit by a truck.  My body was so so exhausted and tired and I could hardly stand up and walk around.  I wanted to sleep and lay down and couldn't wake up whatsoever.  I took my temperature just to check and it ended up being a low fever.  Uncle Joseph took me back to the clinic and they told me I had no fever (armpit vs. mouth).  He said I was fine, until he took my blood pressure.  It was 10/6 or (100/60). This is lower than normal especially for me.  Apparently my body was very weak and that is why I was not able to move well or have any energy whatsoever.  I hadn't eaten anything that day (it was just early afternoon) because I woke up late and wasn't hungry.  They decided to put me on an IV for nutrition and other things.  Even though my blood test for malaria came out negative, it can do that sometimes, there was a possibility I might have had a germ or so from that as well.  So the assistant came to our house on the compound so I could lay on our couch and gave me the IV.  The first two bags went really fast.  The last one was big and only dripped every 3 seconds or so.  It took all night to finish and I was sick of it.  (Of course along with the IV I had terrible diarrhea, I know you wanted to know this!)  Uncle Joseph made me eat, so I ate a couple bananas and maybe about an hour or so later I threw it all up.  This wasn't the first time.  They continually pushed me to eat because I had too much medication in my body and no food, but it frustrated me because even though they were telling me to eat because it was the right thing, I was still continually throwing it up a bit later!  I was so miserable, and with no food in my body I couldn't even walk in the house by myself.  When I immediately stood up, everything turned black and they literally had to haul me to the bathroom.  At one point I blacked out and when I opened my eyes I was already down the hall and had puked all over my arm and the floor.  How embarrassing in front of everyone.  Uncle Joseph continually pushed me to eat as he would remind me about every 5 minutes to eat more, take more, put this in your mouth, you need more.  Finally because of my throwing up, he went and bought me some medication to stop my body from resisting the food.  It did its job but wow did that medicine burn in my veins!  Marie (Matthew's mom) was there the whole time with me and she was so affectionate toward me.  I feel like we have a great connection and it meant so much for her to sit with me on my bed and pull my hair back, rub my back, etc.  

So the next day was Sunday.  The assistant came at 9 to give me to the second dosage of meds but Uncle Joseph had called the doctor to explain what had happened last night.  He wanted us to come back into the clinic, so we did.  He did another quick physical exam on me and then gave me the anti-vomiting medicine again.  It made me dizzy this time so I had to lay down.  Then they checked me weight.  Wow, I could not believe that I have lost 20+ lbs since February.  Especially, off of my body, because thats the last thing I need.  I have been very discouraged about this since.  So I was given the same meds again through my IV and ate before they went through.  This time things were going well.  I had eaten chicken noodle soup, jello, small crackers...etc...then I had a drink of Fanta (bad idea) and up came everything I had just eaten.  "Wow that was alot of work" I thought.  "Now I have to eat all that over again!"  The rest of the day sailed on slowly and I laid on my bed all day watching movies because I was so energy-less, my body was completely dead and I looked like it too.  The next day I only went to the second half of class and then stayed inside much of the afternoon afterwards.  Today I have felt so much better and I know its because of my family and friends in Christ i have on the other side of this planet!

Now I am just struggling with being content with where I'm at.  Emotionally I am miserable and know Mali isn't where I will live in the future.  Satan is good at taking me passions and desires and twisting them to make them look evil and miserable.  How dare he!  Mentally exhausted because of our homework and how hard it is to do in such a negative state of mind and body.  Also, my body says "eat" but I say nothing sounds good, nothing tastes good (not even junk food), I dont have an appetite, blah blah, but I can't stand the fact that I've lost so much.

Thank you all for the support and prayer.  (This is a bit detailed!) 

jouer au foot

On Sunday afternoon, a couple of us went to the soccer game over by the other church in town that IBR is with.  It was great to be able to get away from our house and do something different.  The game was between IBR and Torakabougou, but we lost again.  But this time it was 5-2 because we were actually really loud and cheering for our team.  These are just a few of the photos that I took that afternoon.  It was super hot and exhausting so we sat in the shade under a huge tree, and drank their water when ours was gone (I hope I don't get typhoid again)! (ha)  Since being in culture shock it has been harder to find the motivation to actually want to go out and do things so because I felt really good, it was a pretty darn good day. Then Sunday night, the electricity kept on going off and on and off and on.  There was no electricity all night and therefore no fans.  There are a few times where we actually slept inside with no fans, but we were tired of it...real tired of it, so we all piled our mattresses outside on our front porch and slept till 6 am and then moved inside and the fans were back on then.  Last night, the same thing happened.  Everyone was frustrated, even the students and Uncle Joseph.  But we didn't bet it would stay on all night so we all tied our mosquito nets outside and moved our beds out too.  It was so nice that night, except for hearing the donkeys and roosters right next to our porch!  It's true that when you are use to something and don't have it, it changes alot of things and can be very frustrated...like electricity.  Its hard when the water is turned off for a period of time as well.  Then I remember how thankful I have it here when it is all back on.  

Remember, to be grateful for everything you have, no matter where you live!

Photos above: Me, Abel, Michenzie; Courtney and Kadiatou- Court is trying to learn to drive the moto

more thoughts

So I have been going a bit crazy lately.  The other night I had another dream where I had a baby.  Most of it was very unrealistic and couldn't happen in reality but the part of it that felt so real made me almost be able to feel what it's like to have your own child.  I woke up and couldn't stop thinking about what it's like to hold the child you held for 9 months in your belly, and to then see her and say "she's mine".  It's kind of a crazy thing.  And the more I find myself filled with passion for children, the more dreams and other things come up.  

Somehow I know that children are in my future...somehow...

We've also recently hit culture shock.  The weird thing is, most people don't know they're in it and don't recognize it, so our professor was surprised.  But we talk about culture shock so much as we are trying to relate and live in an African culture, and we taught that at our 3 month mark everything would start changing.  And, it has.  We become more irritated with little things, people bother us, I want to sleep more than anything, I'd rather stay inside somedays, I find it really hard to be motivated to do anything, we are very "bored", homework is so much harder to do and we end up turning it in days late because we have no motivation, and then again the heat doesn't help still.  

In many ways it sucks, and I wonder why I'm here.  But I don't wish I was at home, because this is where God called me to be at this time and I want to be all here, all of me.  But in the end, and overall, I know I am learning alot and growing and it is going to be a GREAT experience and foundation for whatever I do later after graduation.  The edge program is very unique and I've never seen another program like this before.  We're learning how to live in community even if we don't like each other.  We're learning that we aren't just visiting here but we're actually living life here.  We find that everything we experience and see through our own cultural view, is completely different to what the Malians and seeing through their culture.  There's so much to learn about a culture before you start presenting the gospel respectfully.  It seems overwhelming to me, but when I continue to remind myself that I'm doing it for the glory of the Lord, everything is joyful again.  

I continue to love the relationships we are building here.  And if I miss anything, it's not where we live, it's not what it looks like, or the other small things, but it is the people.  

Thank you to those who read this, its encouraging to me.

special treatment

Today at our "malian" picnic, I had some more unrestful feelings come up, as well as the team did.  As an American, many countries (I don't think all) are given privilege.  We are given sort of a special treatment in whatever we do, in many ways.  Today especially sort of bugged me.  We went to the picnic in this small van that packed in over 20 people sitting on wood benches in the back of the van.  It was so much fun and I was laughing so hard I was crying, and all the girls were asking me why I was crying!  Every time we hit a bump, our wooden bench would come up or move so we started going forward onto the people from the other side.  It was very interesting.  We loved it!

When we left, we were given privilege to leave first (I think its because we also looked really exhausted), but they had this nice 4-door pickup Toyota (i think) for us to ride back in.  I'm talking, an American pickup, except it was stick.  The thing is, we didn't want that, that was to easy for us.  Instead we wanted to ride in the van with all the others.

Another issue that has bugged me a bit is that because we are Americans, we are considered "rich" of course, so when big events happen like this they expect us to pay more than our share!  So for gas to get us to the picnic, they made us 4 toubabs (white person) pay for HALF of the total gas out of all the 20-30+ people!  In many cases we find people asking us to pitch in or to help this person, but its more of an expectation that we will, not just a question of "you don't have to, but you can't".

At first it wasn't a big deal, because yes we have alot more money than them, but then again we are on a strict budget as a team (according to what we raised) and barely have any money left at the end of the month to buy groceries.  It has become more irritating now, as it continues to happen in small ways.  Because of the language barrier with some people as well, we sometimes don't have a choice in what we say and end up going with the flow.